In life, there are good days and bad. We can bring out the best in someone and the worst. For me, I have always been told how many bad things I do or am doing something bad. I am a sensitive person and is hard for me to undestand. I wish I could control it better but I fall so far short in that area, its depth is that of being buried.
However, my husband, who I have hurt just as much, is still the one I want most in this life. He is strong, loving, my safety and hurting him, hurts me. I allowed my hurt to rise above me this year and I was wrong for that. I understand the pressures I placed on him and understand his desire to leave me. I just can't live without him. I would move mountains to be with him. If he is hurting I want to fix it. And, he won't let me in. I would have to leave my whole family. All that I am and all that I love dearest in this world in order to give him what he wants and I'm dying inside. I feel myself simply dying. I know my words are misunderstood but he is my everything. The person who has always taken me to the next level of love and learning.

Dear God,
You know me. You know my sorrow, my love for him. You know my faith in him and how much I want to be the wife that he can be proud of. I am ashamed and sorry for all that I have done. Grant me this request. Please place in him the ability to give me another chance. To say yes, and make all the tears go away. To allow me to smile, be happy and plan a future with him. YOU KNOW I SPEAK THE TRUTH! And only in you, Father, can such a request be granted. He knows you. Speak to his Spirit and touch him.

I recognize how I've hurt him and I know I am weak but I will give him everything if he will try once more. I was tense because I believed he was waiting for me to make a mistake and send me away. Let him know that I love him, I respect him, I will make up for all my mistakes, and provide him with a happy home once more the moment he says yes. I don't expect overnight results but I will work hard every moment of every day for him and our family. I know you don't give up on me, please ask him to do the same.
In Jesus' Name,

Larry,

You may want me gone and think that will fix our problems but it will not. The domino effect will begin and what you feel now will grow. Today, I will clean up the house as best I can , as fast as I can, and will always carry hope that you will listen to your Spirit. I can keep my promise.I promise to love you, respect you, always work on becoming a better person and to put you and our family first. I will strive for happiness, security, loving kind words and to have you not only love me but to trust me and be proud of me. I will make up for all that I have done. I promise with all that I have in me! I will understand the things I have said and done that leave you insecure and will allow you to trust me again to replace that. I do NOT hate you. I was hurting and I will never say that again. You can take all the guns away until you feel safe with me again. Allow me this please. Your first instinct is to say no again. Our whole lives we have loved each other. It is still there. This is a choice. Let us not be selfish to our own pain and sufferings b/c I know firsthand the loss of it. Allow me to be your wife and the mother of your children and uphold our vows. Please.