Pain and all it costs....

I sit here, alone again, thinking of ways to try and be “happy” but I just can’t seem to make it happen. I’m not sure what lesson God is trying to teach me but I can say it’s the most horrifyingly painful experience I’ve ever known. To have the man of my dreams tell me he no longer loves me and no longer wants to be my husband after 26 years, truly is a soul deep pain that I keep bringing to my Heavenly Father, as the burden is too much to bare. I’ve never missed someone so much and have never been so unhappy. How can someone love you so much one day and then overnight change in an instant? How can all the experiences we shared be so easily replaceable? How was I so easily replaced? I can never replace him. His smile, his laughter, his protective nature, his loving kiss or even the way he held me at night! My heart is not only broken but my spirit is as well. The enemy is always there waiting to tear apart something beautiful and for now he has succeeded. But my faith resides in the Lord and I refuse to be it’s over. I love and respect my husband and want him by my side always. I pray he realizes what this truly means. I love you sweetheart. Everything about you, good and bad, I’d never let you go. How could you actually let me go? I feel invisible. Eve